We’ve all been there; the still moments of self reflection and, quite frankly, “oh shit” after saying what we deem as “too much”. You spoke out of anger; out of emotion, regret, fear. You said words. A lot of them. Words that carry a lot of meaning, not just to whoever you spoke them to, but yourself as well. You were so convicted to saying what you said in that moment. You had to. You were bursting inside, because that’s what we’ve been trained to do. Deal with it. Someone does something you don’t like or that upset you? Deal with it. Someone hurt your feelings by a lack of action you expected from them. And…? Get over it. Deal with it. Your heart’s in a million pieces and you’ve been played. Again. Well…you shouldn’t have been so stupid. You put yourself in this situation. Accept it. Get over it. Deal with it.
Yeah, sure, OK, great. Except no one asks why we’re just supposed to deal with it. Why are we supposed to act like we’re made of steal and are incapable of caring for anyone other than ourselves? Yes, human beings are selfish by nature. Of course. It doesn’t take a psychological expert to prove that, I mean…just look around. But hey, that’s not the problem. We’re all selfish. We all love talking about ourselves. We all want the attention from people we love, or those we want to love us. It’s 2016-sharing isn’t caring anymore. Maybe it is, but that’s not what we’re passing down to generations behind our own. We’re showing them, through superb leadership (jokes), how to inevitably crush our souls by suppressing any real emotion we have.
“I got way too many feels, way too much emotion.”
Great. That’s truly amazing. So..why do we turn feeling something–anything–into a negative thing? Having feelings isn’t a bad thing. It’s a good thing. It shows that, although we are selfish on our own, that we are capable of loving people, things, experiences, etc., other than ourselves. That there is some purpose in life other than to satisfy every selfish desire we have. Sure, being selfish is fun. I’ll be the first person to fully admit that. You don’t have to worry about anyone but yourself. Don’t have to worry about what anyone else thinks about what you’re doing because you’re doing it solely for yourself. You don’t care if anyone wants to eat at the restaurant you told everyone to meet at, because you do. Don’t like hanging out with your friends friends? Great. You don’t have to, and you won’t. Because you’re just looking out for yourself.
This is just a giant rant, and I had a direction with this when I started writing this post but…such as everything else in my life, ADD took over and won this one. Basically… It’s ridiculous that we’ve crafted this generation full of people who don’t think they have to justify themselves to anyone. Don’t think they have to apologize for being insensitive and flaky and…selfish. Yes, a certain level of selfishness is necessary. Everyone needs their own time to do their own thing. But just don’t get someone else twisted in your alone time. Communicate. Your friends are all saying you’re being a dick? Well, you’re probably being a dick. Yeah, you can do whatever you want. But you may have no one around if you keep it up. Got a guy/girl who would do anything for you, who makes you feel awesome, feel wanted, feel in general…but you don’t want to “commit” because there’s always a “what if” in life. Or you’re hooking up with 5 other dudes/chicks on the side. Or you don’t want the responsibility of someone else’s feelings on top of your own.
As my girl Riri said, “Man, fuck your pride.” I mean, damn. What are we doing? FEELINGS ARE YOUR FRIEND. Deal with that. Accept that. Accept that whoever you’re playing games with is probably the person you should be dating. Accept that your friends who are trying to tell you how it really is (i.e. telling you you’re being an ass) are probably right.
If you want to get inside my head, the push that inspired this post; take a listen.
Soap by Melanie Martinez
-Essentially how we view saying what we feel in 2016. We say too much. Regret it. Messed up. Shouldn’t have said it. Self sabotage. All written by a 20 year old…That. Is. Raw.