Everything is Nothing


What does that mean to you? What popped in your head when you read that title? To me, it’s that everything in my head means nothing; nothing unless it has an outlet, unless it’s out in the open.

Surely the idea that everything one has literally means nothing could be where your mind went. That’s a natural place to go. To be honest, I didn’t know what to title this post, because I didn’t want to define it. I didn’t want it to have boundaries; just wanted it to go where it may naturally.

So. It. Goes. Hopefully you survived the year of January 2018, and are on the brighter side of this winter. Yeah, that Groundhog predicted 6 more weeks of winter, but sorry to my friends in the northeast and midwest, but I’m going to Colorado in a little over a month and would love there to be a plethora of snow on the ground. Anyways, weather is just weather, and I hope your soul is doing well.

Today; today was a good day for me. I had my first good meeting with a psychiatrist that I’ve ever had in over a year, and it was the most reassuring visit I could’ve hoped for. As many of you know, I have immense anxiety and panic disorder, and things have been excessively rough over the last few months. However, I feel like I’m on the up and up mentally, and I couldn’t be happier to say that in a public way.

Food will always be a hard spot for me, but as for now, I’m doing what my body wants: clean eating. Routine exercising. Everything consistently. It keeps my head space clear and my mental feeling good.

But, really, how are you?

If you feel you don’t have an outlet, DM me on Twitter. Send me an email.
No one should go through this world unheard and feeling alone.

Millennial State of Mind

Welcome to the millennial state of mind. What’s that mean? Well, it’s the mindset we —the millennials—give ourselves in order to get the job done. To grind it out. To work tirelessly towards what we want, no matter who says we can’t make it, or who says we don’t fit the mold.

It’s getting to the third round of interviews for a dream job and hearing you’re not right for the part, and then you keep trying anyway. You keep grinding at it. You keep going. You don’t stop for anyone, not even yourself, and you refuse to let a negative remark or response deter you from your goals. Sure, maybe you didn’t accomplish something you set out to, but it doesn’t mean you failed.

Why should you listen to me or anything I have to say? Because I’m like you. I’m one of you. I live within a millennial state of mind, and I have had my dreams (or what I thought were my dreams) crushed before my eyes after putting it all on the table. I wanted to quit. I wanted to give up, throw in the towel, and just stop trying. Stop grinding. Stop going after what I want, whatever that may be today. It’s tough when you put everything into something and feel that passion; that fire for what you’ve been striving to achieve only to be told no, you’re too good; you’re not good enough. You have too little experience; you have too much experience. It’s a double-edged sword and it feels like you can’t win, that you’re forever on the losing side of the spectrum.

From one millennial to another, you’ve got this. I doubted myself, but didn’t let it fully take over my reality. The second you say you can’t, you start to believe it. Little by little, it takes over your mentality and all you’ll hear yourself talk about is all of the things you can’t do. See—your brain; your mind. . . they’re powerful. You have everything you need. You have all the confidence and ability in the world. ‘Can’t’ is powerful. But guess what? so is can, and you can do anything you say you can. Why? Because you should. Because you can. Because you will. Because you’re a millennial and if nothing else, regardless of what everyone may think, we know what it takes to be crafty and get what we strive for.


Where Do You Go From The Bottom?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what exactly I want to do with my life. What’s my purpose, what was I put on this earth for…and such on and so forth. If you’ve ever been in this place of intense contemplation, you can probably relate. It’s insanely overwhelming, and even more confusing on multiple levels. After 2 weeks of (overly-intense) thought on this specific topic I have come to the conclusion that…I have a lot of passions, and have flaws within each and every one of them. I’ve been wondering if it’s possible to combine multiple passions into one career, and not have to constantly be feeling as if you’re missing out on one part of your soul by focusing on an entirely separate sphere for x-amount of hours a day. I don’t have an answer for that one quite yet…but I have come seemingly closer to kind of figuring something out, which is better than nothing.

One of my passions is writing. I went to school for it, killed it there for 4 years, and decided it was time to move onto something else, a different passion of mine. Over the last year and a half, I’ve been doing everything under the sun; management, working with kids, marketing, sales…You know, just creating the most random and disconnected career path to have ever existed. And here I am…contemplating where to go next. I know where I’m at now isn’t where I’m meant to be forever, but surely there has to be a reason I fell into the position I’m in. Some lesson to be learned-either in my career-world or my personal one. Some type of journey that I can’t figure out, and it’s actually that that’s driving me crazy. Having no set plan, no knowledge of where to even begin to go next; it freaks me out. Then I was thinking…What’s the one outlet I have that I can connect with others, maybe even lend a helping hand unknowingly, and express myself through one of my passions (writing)? Here. This. Blogging.

So…the next question is…how do I make a career out of this specific passion? The passion that I can actually combine all of my passions into one…how can I somehow profit from it on a soul and money level? How can I begin to make a living off of this thing, this movement that seems to be taking the world by storm? And that, my friends, I do not have the answer for. The only time i’m not entirely overwhelmed with anxiety and contemplating my life and career choices is when I’m in a coffeeshop, or bookstore, blogging. Writing is so freeing to me, and writing about the things I’m most passionate about-like health and fitness, creating balance in ones life, etc.-frees up my mind and my spirit is once again something that’s alive and thriving. So, that’s where I’m at. If anyone’s in the Austin or surrounding area, and knows of A.) any way to make a blog profitable, or B.) Knows of any writing gigs (I have a degree in Journalism!)…please feel free to contact me either through the comments or by email, which I believe is in my about me section. If not…comment and I’ll give you my email address. I hope everyone’s been having a clarifying and restful weekend with the people you hold dearly doing the things you love most.